Do or not Do that is the question

So Doug has said that he will never read my blog because he is worried that I will write something that will make him mad even if I don't think he will get mad. That is fine with me it almost give me more freedom to write what is really on my mind. Tonight Doug and I had another conversation that keeps coming up, we don't fight about it but we do have a difference of opinions on the subject. Now I bet you are wondering what that conversation is. Well I want to renew our vows and he doesn't. My thoughts on the matter are when we first got married the preacher who was supposed to marry us told us that we were not a match based on a relationship test he made us take, and he thought we would not last more than 5 years. Well here we are 10 years later and still going strong. Anyway me being who I am got mad and changed all of my plans for my dream wedding to Malcalster college, we didn't have as many friend or important people in our lives other than our family and a few select people. Now I want to renew our vows and do it at the Como Park conservatory and have the reception at the pavilion. Doug does not want to renew our vows he said that he did it one time and that is all he is going to do. He feels that if we renew our vows I am saying that the first time was not good enough. I don't want anyone to side with either one of us. This is one of those times I just need to write it down and get it out of my head so I don't cry and so I can sleep. I love Doug more than anything and I can't be one of those people that make him do something that he really does not want to do. My problem is that I did not have my dream wedding. Every little girl dreams of her wedding day and I didn't get my dream and I never will and it hurts. I wish I could go back in time and convince myself not to be rash and just go ahead with what I want because I only get one chance and if I don't do it now I never will.