Monday is a new day.

I did not realize that it was Feb since the last time I have wrote anything. It has been such a long winter. So much has happened that I don't even know where to start. I feel as though I have been through so much and when I started writing this blog it was to get out all of the frustrations and I have just been holding everything in. I am not sure but it seems as though I have had a tough winter at work. Most of it is because One of the individuals that I worked with died in October. I have been holding so much grief in that I let it get to the point that I was avoiding all of my co-workers, and I quit doing things at work that I really enjoyed. I closed my self off at one house and ignored the other one completely. I didn't really get to know the individual that moved in shortly after the one passed away. I quit finding enjoyment of all aspects of work. I was put on this earth to do this job. It is the only thing that I am good at and I am really good at it. It is time for me now to get back on track and realize that I am here for all of the individuals at both of my homes and even though I am hurt by losing one it is important to remember that there are still individuals living and I want to make there life the best it possibly can be. Monday is a new day and a new work week and from this day forward I am going to go in with a positive attitude and I am going to do what I really enjoy. I am going to continue to love each of my individuals I am going to get to know them again and take pleasure in seeing them smile. I am going to tell my staff that I am sorry that I was not stronger before and I let the one death take to big of grip on me. But now that I have talked it out with some people I feel better. I have reaffirmed to myself that I am a good person and the choices I made for the one individual is the right choice. I don't need to distance myself from the rest in fear that I will make a bad choice. I am sure that if anyone else was put in my shoes they would have made the same choice. So in the end no more beating myself up.